To put it bluntly, Valentine’s Day is perhaps the most awkward national holiday. On the one hand you have lovely and joyful romantic partners eager to get their plans started, and on the other hand you have lovely but dissatisfied singles preparing to witness all the plans in action, right? No! There are also people who get together with their palentines and do something quiet or have an absolute rager, people who go to bars or clubs or parties for the sake of a good time, people who visit loved ones—who may have lost loved ones—to offer comfort and company, etc. Then, there are those of us die-hard cinephiles who don’t have a fulfilling holiday without popping in a film or two. Whether you have a valentine, palentine, or you’re a singleton, there’s something for everyone to enjoy under the “Sweet and Sour” sublist, and/or dislike (in a good way, of course) under the “Bitter and Dour” sublist. Turn down the lights, take out the desserts, and hit play with love.

Sweet and Sour

 

Desert Hearts (1985)

Director: Donna Deitch

Original Writer, Writer: Jane Rule, Natalie Cooper

Cast: Helen Shaver, Patricia Charbonneau

Why We Love It: Set in 1950s Reno, Vivian (Shaver), a literature professor from the big city, is fracturing from within as she finalizes her divorce in an unfamiliar place. Enter sweet and high-spirited Cay (Charbonneau), the remedy she didn’t know she needed; the next chapter in her life’s story. However, a fresh wound of the soul can only heal so much so fast. Unlike Cay, Vivian struggles with her emerging attraction to the same-sex, causing significant anxiety fueled by unwanted and intolerant attention. Still, Desert Hearts optimistically demonstrates that as soon as one heart-shaped door closes, another one a little bit more colorful could open up and lead to something meaningful. Classic dreamy tunes by Patsy Cline and Kitty Wells are just the cherry on top of the journey.

 

Mississippi Masala (1991)

Director: Mira Nair

Writer: Sooni Taraporevala

Cast: Denzel Washington, Sarita Choudhury

Why we love it: Mina (Choudhury), a South Asian woman with roots in Uganda, and Demetrius (Washington), a Black man from Mississippi, come from very different cultural backgrounds, but that doesn’t stop love from drawing them together. Set primarily in the deep southern state of Mississippi, their relationship is challenged by both of their families whose criticisms are based in bigotry. Moreover, basically everyone is challenged by the bigotry that surrounds them in American society; in the case of Mina’s family, Ugandan society, too. This multicultural story deals with several sociological and political issues, with Mina and Demetrius’s romance right at the center of it all. Tensions target their blossoming romance from all sides and corners, but unbeknownst to everyone, it’s not so easily wilted.

 

Before Sunrise (1995)

Director: Richard Linklater

Writers: Richard Linklater, Kim Krizan, Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy

Cast: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy

Why We Love It: Sometimes it takes all the courage you can muster to spark a connection. For Jesse, it was inviting her to spend his last day in Europe with him. For Celine, it was trusting him and saying yes. Before Sunrise is what dreams of a swept-off-your-feet romance are made of, however through a more realistic lens. On a regular day in Vienna, they walk around the city, visit a record store, go to bars and restaurants, all while talking about everything to do with life and the world as we know it. Unsure if they’ll ever meet again, it’s the rush of their thoughts like rivers and growing chemistry that makes this title one of the most effortlessly romantic films you’ll see.

 

Beautiful Thing (1996)

Director: Hettie Macdonald

Writer: Jonathan Harvey

Cast: Glen Berry, Scott Neal

Why We Love It: If discovering your unpopular sexual orientation and getting bullied wasn’t enough as a teenager, imagine falling in love for the first time—all at the same time. Jamie (Berry) experiences this exact reality, Ste (Neal) being his object of affection who struggles more with his feelings towards Jamie. Unsurprisingly, as they grow closer, worry about getting caught increases, yet what makes their connection so touching is that they bounce back stronger than before. Beautiful Thing manages to capture a hopeful and sensitive portrait of young gay love, while also maintaining a sense of ease and comedy. Also, the supporting characters definitely give the film that extra kick.

 

Rye Lane (2023)

Director: Raine Allen-Miller

Writers: Tom Melia, Nathan Bryon

Cast: David Jonsson, Vivian Oparah

Why We Love It: Dom (Jonsson) is shy and highly sensitive. Yas (Oparah) is more upfront and out-going. They meet at a mutual friend’s art gallery, and soon learn that they’ve both just got out of serious relationships, inspiring them to spend a longer period of time together. As they learn more about themselves from the help of one another, they in turn also see the value in each other, making the film ever so charming to watch. Incredibly eventful, sharp in its filmmaking and quick-witted in its dialogue, Rye Lane is hands down one of the most stupendously crafted rom-coms of the decade so far. Its upbeat and vibrant atmosphere doesn’t let you go until the credits roll; a delightful treat you don’t want to pass out on.

Bitter and Dour

 

Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)

Writer/Director: Rainer Werner Fassbinder

Cast: Brigitte Mira, El Hedi ben Salem

Why We Love It: One is never too old to fall in love for the first time, or as many times. In Emmi’s (Mira) case, a near-elderly German woman, her chance at a next great romance comes in the shape of Ali (Salem), a younger Moroccan stud with a heart of gold—for better and for worse. Set in 1970s Germany, these two lonely hearts quickly form a connection, which is just as quickly criticized and condemned by her family, friends, and local community. They do their best to persevere through the haze of prejudice that plagues their love, but how strong is their grip against the world’s wrench? Poignant and profound in its depiction of an “unconventional” relationship, Ali: Fear Eats the Soul may not be an easy watch, but it’s worth a watch.

 

Secretary (2002)

Director: Steven Shainberg

Original Writer, Writer: Mary Gaitskill, Erin Cressida Wilson

Cast: Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader, Jeremy Davies

Why We Love It: Warmth and tenderness generally comes to mind when imagining romance in its finest form. That’s how it’s commonly depicted on the screen, anyway, but certainly not the screen playing this title. For Lee (Gyllenhaal) and Edward (Spader), soft kisses and warm embraces are not nearly enough to satisfy their desires. The stars truly align when they meet, because their idea of love heavily involves alternative behavior—unlike everyone else around them, including Peter (Davies) who vies for Lee’s affections. Will she pursue a socially accepted love, or a love less traveled? Dark in its themes and alluring in its presentation of S&M, Secretary is sure to keep one’s perceived decency on the edge of its seat.

 

Let the Right One In (2008)

Director: Tomas Alfredson

Original Writer/Writer: John Ajvuide Lindqvist

Cast: Kåre Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson

Why We Love It: Tween love—or rather admiration, but who’s to say they know everything about love, anyway—is supposed to be cute and innocent. Then, there’s Eli and Oskar. They’re both twelve, except Eli’s been twelve for a really long time, as it so often goes when it comes to vampires. It would’ve felt like a crime to not include at least one film in this sublist that contains horror, considering how much more captivating stories that blend romance and horror can be, such as this one. The darkness that quietly looms over Eli and Oskar’s sincere and childish romance feels like poetry. Elegantly shot with grim surprises sprinkled throughout, here’s a contemporary gothic romance you want to let in.

 

Medicine for Melancholy (2008)

Writer/Director: Barry Jenkins

Cast: Wyatt Cenac, Tracey Heggins

Why We Love It: Micah (Cenac) just got out of a serious relationship, and Jo (Heggins) is still in one. What could’ve been left as a one-night stand, turns into a question of “What if?” It’s possible that Jo is more of a rebound to him, and it’s possible that Micah is just a quick-fix to her loneliness since her boyfriend is often away. Regardless, they give in to that bit of compatibility and poke around at the idea of them. You’re not supposed to root for them, yet despite the problematic circumstances, it’s obvious that in another lifetime they’d make a meaningful couple. Nuanced in its approach, how is the viewer to perceive this thought-provoking relationship? Perhaps not in the best light, but one must see for themselves.

 

Blue Valentine (2010)

Director: Derek Cianfrance

Writers: Derek Cianfrance, Cami Delavigne, Joey Curtis

Cast: Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling

Why We Love It: Everyone has the right to pursue a good love, and it seems that’s how it often begins. Good, or even good enough. What we hear all the time, and simultaneously don’t want to hear, is that love fades. Of course, that’s not everyone’s story, and we hold onto those success stories like batteries to use when one’s relationship starts to feel off. We don’t want to hold onto the separation stories, however they continue to hold onto us, as seen with Cindy (Williams) and Dean (Gosling). Blue Valentine confronts the viewer with this undesirable possibility in its relentless depiction of a crumbling marriage where love used to live. As heartbreaking as it is, its realistic portrayal of the themes and composed pacing makes it befitting as a cautionary tale to experience.